Shallow Voyeur

Amy is quite attractive and delivers the song (Tik Tok by Ke$ha) rather well with a sweet voice, adding a folk-like delicacy to a rap-like pop song. In the comments, boys (at least, hopefully, not middle-aged men) say their in love her, and that she’s really cute. Katie, generally speaking, is quite ugly, and is unable to sing the song decently. Due to her weight problem, both her singing and speaking voice have the “fat” inflection that sounds like she, and other obese people, are panting for air. I’m not trying to be a dick, or exploitively abuse Katie in this post. It's just that these two clips have been on my mind for quite some time. I would like this post to be about how I've discovered that Katie is actually a wonderful person brimming with inner beauty and how Amy is some mean bitch, but that would be too familiar and baseless even for a fabrication. You might want this post to be how I see grandeur and innocence in Katie, maybe even a compassionate honesty, but I don’t. We all want songs to be great, and for singers (and everyone else in our lives) to look spectacular. The videos above are “related,” a lot  of the dudes who said they love Amy were also really twice as brutal to Katie in the comments. One guy even said his dick fell off. I once had dinner with a colleague, among other colleagues, and she said how good-looking everyone was, not in a playful way, but a self-gratified way. I remember being repulsed by that comment, and felt sad for the world we live in. I know, I know I sound like  Holden Caulfield right now, but I think I’m still mentally aged at seventeen, save my hair line. Everything I’m saying is blatant and I'm not the first to say it. I’m a hypocrite. I like William Gaddis and cute girls with slim hips. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wish I weren’t so shallow. And dare I say, I wish you weren’t so shallow either. I wish I liked Dan Brown and E.L. James. I wish the allure of money wasn't the only way I could get the girl on the ground floor to be interested in me. I wish we’d all stop trying to have sex with super attractive people. I hate sexy, and I’m starting to hate the pursuit of sex. But Morrissey has destroyed celibacy as an option for me. I hope Katie is a happy person. This post has depressed me.