An Illustration of My Mental Self

What follows is my attempt to self-diagnose and conceptualize my psychological paradigm in effort to acclimate ones new outlook on life, which may be somewhat ponderous to begin with. Maybe after this self-reflection exercise i’ll be able to be more confident in my interactions within my work environments and be the popular guy... or maybe not.

Pretty basic stuff here: Mama’s a psycho, Papa’s a dickhead, women are objects, and God is dead. Of course, it’s not that simple, and this is all somewhat self-diagnosed, with the help of the internet. I’m a pretty fast learner so I’ll spare you any modesty and just tell you that I probably have it 88-90% correct. I got issues people — headed by anger, abandonment, and control; thus, gonna get patricidal on my Father, take my Mother out to eat while she tries to remember my name, and find some nice boobs connected to a brain (respectively of course). A guy at my retail job recently was dismissed — the why is not relevant and it wouldn’t be proper to tell — the point is that I kinda related to the dude, he was quiet, weird, and had a knack for making people around him feel very uncomfortable with his social skills. (We also had similar hairstyles.)  He might’ve had an easier time if someone was talking to him. I’ve always used my personal life as an excuse to limit my work relationships, and my work life to limit my personal relationships. To all the girls I didn’t talk to, I was always trying to build enough courage to say just gimme like a couple more weeks to “deal,” then how about me and you go out and eat on our break. I don’t mind if your on a diet, unless you’re anorexic. Either way, that last chicken wing is mine. This, of course, would be our first date. Let’s get ready for some happy, seriously.