i am good

If I were to tell you a story about a random person, the discerning reader would probably stop and say No Thanks, This Seems Like Its Been Done Before. And they would be right, this is true and it has. If I were to tell you a story about several people, perhaps this would make for a more engaging experience. Perhaps not. It really is nearly impossible to tell because there is no way of knowing precisely what is going on in your head.

Perhaps if I wrote a poem about myself

Chapter 1

A small asian girl ran faster than me for the bus today
She was wearing a skirt and everything
I got to the upper deck and found her sitting in my usual seat and I wasn't even mad
I think this is a good sign
I think I am a good person

Chapter 2

I am the proud owner of the greatest spice rack
Possibly of all time
Rosemary, sage, cumin, thyme etc
They’re actually too potent
Eating has become a dreadful chore

Chapter 3

LADIES–

Hi yes hello there. I am the man who will make your life complete. With luvin’ yes, but also tender sentiments that have deep, profound meaning custom tailored to your fine arse. Before you came along, I was lost. Now you are here and I still feel bad about myself, but I feel pretty good about you most of the time. I like the way you look. I like the way you make me feel. I enjoy being in a relationship, haha.

Chapter 4

LADIES–

Hello yes hi. I am the person who you hate. I am the one who will ruin your life for a bit. I am the boy who made you feel all emotional (bad).

I am the guy who wasn't ready to be serious. These days I identify primarily as the ex-boyfriend. That part doesn't bother me as much as the fact that I forgot my promise to myself, that I made: to Live Every Moment Like It Was My Last (because it might be).

I spent 17 minutes reading youtube comments on a video of a guy with some bad opinions (ugh) and shaking my head in disgust (wow). I got my hands on a new sim card and sent messages to all my old friends telling them what I really think is wrong with them. What is wrong with me. Jeez, I am overwhelmed with feelings. This is the bad part of my life.

Chapter 5

Many men have been living well out of spite for longer than they can remember
I say soak up the rays when you get the chance, on holiday or any other time you can getaway from work
Drive your white car around. drive your white car on the beach and into the water
As the car fills up with water just keep going
Remember, you wanted it this way
Automatic windows don’t work in a submerged automobile
You will have longer than anticipated to do whatever you want
You could think about whatever you wanted
You could just sit still

Chapter 6

I want an army of lovers who defend me and help me with my problems Comb my hair and keep my house clean and spread rumors about my enemies
I want people to do the things I tell them to do
Everyone does, thats what makes us so bad
I wouldn't even bother with most people if I didn't believe this

What would you do if a tiger was to attack you
Would you calmly accept your fate or would you sing to the tiger
Would you finally put your talent to the test in the ultimate setting

This is it.

Chapter 7

Throw rice at my body until I am bruised and puffy
Lock me in the steam room, stick a broom in the door handle
Until I become vapor
Hurl king prawns at my smoldering corpse
It doesn't matter because I’m dead
You can just dump the whole thing

Chapter 8

I am ready to receive and give love
I want to make a personal connection
I want to stick my hand in the computer and touch your bodies
I am ready to die
I am ready to lay down on the ground and fuse with the pavement
I want the kids to walk on my melted matter on the way to school
I am ready to be your boyfriend
I am ready to provide emotional support
I am ready to steal your energy
I am making everything about me again